BROTHERS! SISTERS! SIDEWALK SINNERS!
“I COME TODAY to rebuke the ancient sin of LAZINESS!”
“Not robbery!”
“Not greed!”
“Not idolatry!”
“I’m talkin’ about pajamas at 3 PM and a sink full of wavy gravy!”
“Amen?!”
“AMEN!”
“You hit that snooze button so many times your alarm clock started cryin’, ‘Let me be Jeremy!’
“Some of y’all got laundry piled mountain-high to the sky! Shirts in a heap like sleepy sheep! Socks in a mound like the lost-and-found!”
“And we lazy ones always say the same thing:”
‘I’ll do it tomorrow.’
“TOMORROW?!”
“Tomorrow is the playground of delay! Tomorrow is where ambition goes to decay!”
“You got dishes in the sink growin’ fuzz and givin’ each other names!”
“You got leftovers in the fridge old enough to pay taxes!”
“Can I get a witness?!”
“WITNESS!”
“I SAID CAN I GET A WITNESS?!”
“WITNESS!”
“The devil ain’t always flames and smoke!”
“Sometimes he arrives with a blanket, a cold beer and a streaming subscription!”
‘One more episode.’
“One more becomes four!”
“Then you wake up at midnight with cracker crumbs in your beard and no sense of purpose left!”
“LAZINESS is slick!”
“It’ll have you passed out when you should be workin’ out!”
“Delayin’ when you should be prayin’ and sprayin’ that mildew behind the toilet!”
“Oh, I feel conviction in the air!”
“Somebody here has unopened mail stacked taller than a cathedral!”
“Somebody’s car trunk got three umbrellas, roller skates, and receipts from 2014!”
“But hear me now!”
“REDEMPTION IS REAL!”
“You can rise from the couch of slouch!”
“You can escape the nap trap!”
“You can fold those clothes before they fossilize!”
“Come forward, ye weary procrastinators!”
“Come forward, ye who call moving laundry from washer to dryer ‘a productive day!’”
“Lay down your excuses!”
“Pick up your broom!”
“Repent… refresh… and separate your whites from your colors before everything turns the shade of despair!”
“AMEN!”
”Let me hear it again!”
”AMEN!”
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Copyright©2026 Dan Campbell
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Essays, Art and Plays by Dan 
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