The world is becoming a meaner and more selfish place so I am composing curses to use on self-centered jerks who cross my path each day. Here are some sample curses and please share your favorite curses in the Comments section.
Curses for Rude People
- May every chair you pull out squeal like a betrayed violin.
- May your umbrella drip exclusively onto your socks.
- May every dog you meet lift his hind leg to pee on you.
- May your pasta sauce leap onto the whitest shirt you own.
Curses for Aggressive Drivers
- May your coffee leap from the cup holder during every dramatic brake.
- May your road rage burn hotter than your air conditioner can handle.
- May your parallel parking audience grow by the minute.
- May your GPS keep recommending emotional growth over shortcuts.
Curses for Arrogant People
- May your ego require its own zip code.
- May your superiority complex lose reception in crowded rooms.
- May your selfies someday ask for witness protection.
- May your superiority complex lose reception in crowded rooms.
Essays, Art and Plays by Dan 
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