Essays, Art and Plays by Dan

8:02 a.m. — The clouds over the Pacific look like misplaced pillows.
Who keeps rearranging those? Oh right. Me.

8:17 — Someone just prayed for a parking spot.
Again.
I could intervene, but there’s a meteor shower in Andromeda that’s about to do something spectacular. Priorities.

9:03 — Angels arguing about Wi-Fi.
They call it “divine signal latency.”
I told them it’s called patience. They told me that’s easy for someone without a body.

10:15 — A poet in Lisbon just wrote, “God is a jazz musician.”
I’m flattered, but honestly? I’m more into banjos and bluegrass lately and I’m kinda getting bored with thunder.

11:40 — Watching Earth like a fishbowl screensaver.
Half of humanity is chasing meaning, the other half chasing Wi-Fi, and a small fraction is just trying to keep their houseplants alive. It’s a surprisingly accurate metaphor for creation.

12:00 — Lunch break.

1:13 — Someone created a cathedral with Canva.
Looks better than a few real ones. I might start outsourcing inspiration to digital artists.

2:04 — Reminder: check on Saturn’s moons. One of them seems to be missing.

3:20 — Big philosophical thought:
If free will exists, why does everyone schedule meetings on Tuesdays?
Coincidence? Or a cosmic prank I accidentally wrote into the fabric of time?

4:01 — Read a human tweet:

“God, if you’re real, give me a sign.”
So I made a streetlight flicker.
Then again.
Then they assumed it was the power grid.
Classic.

5:35 — I am still amazed by one of my most wonderful creations, the octupus! They’re already halfway to writing poetry; all they need is a bit of heartbreak.

6:06 — Someone invented a new flavor of potato chip called “Divine Ranch.”
I didn’t authorize that.
Still… not bad.

7:45 — I checked in on the James Webb telescope, humans must have a spark of divinity in them somewhere.

9:00 — Sunset somewhere.
Every time it happens, humans act surprised.
That’s my favorite part.
For all their algorithms and calendars, they still gasp at orange light.
That’s enough reason to keep the universe running.

11:11 — Someone just wished on me.
Sweet.
But also… I’m technically the one doing the wishing.
Maybe that’s the punchline.

Midnight — Time to rest.
Lets the cosmos hum without me for awhile.
It’s better that way.
Things get interesting when no one’s looking.

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